Massage "Therapy"

I've kept you bottled up so long - and I got the oppourtunity to release you - a little - and God presents the weirdest moments for me.

Nothing Like

Nothing compares to the beauty of Christmas; Although presents are "stuff" they can be a huge blessing and memory to people. I will never forget standing under the foggy night sky, with an orange glow of the street lights glaring down. The big beautiful church in the background. A little boy tore open his present in front of several adults on a side street sidewalk. We smiled as big as he did, after realizing that the present bigger than him, was for him, to keep. His joy and excitement flowed to all of us, and I was held by the arm of a man that loves me, under a sky from the God that loves me. Making the night unforgettable and perfect. This night and many others I can't describe are making me, not the same person that I was.

so oo o cute

http://www.ourblogoflove.com/index.cfm?catID=21

hmmmm

can i turn off my brain -

When did it start

I was in grade school and we would run errands with my dad. I lived in a suburb of LA, and seeing homeless people was very common, especially on our side of town. I remember sitting outside the 99 cents Store, they had just come out and were a pretty big shopping excursion for a grade school kid on an allowance. A man was making his way torwards our car, he was carrying windex and some rags. He had white hair and a beard, he looked weathered and tired. He washed a car's windows that was a few cars over from us. I forget why we were waiting in the car, but my dad had a truck with a cab in the back and I was just in the cab part, peaking over the seat at this man. I wanted to watch, but I didn't want him to know I was watching. He came and asked my dad if he wanted his windows washed. My dad said yes. He made a little conversation with him, they found out they had both been in the air force. My dad handed him a handful of ones, "thanks guy." My dad used that term a lot, he is sort of socially awkward. I had watched the man the whole time, he was very silent, did his work on the windows, and greatfully accepted the donation. He always looked down, but did say, "God Bless." I remember being so young, but happy that this man knew who God was. I always got this pit of the feeling stomach ache when I saw homeless people. I couldn't help, even if I wanted to, I was sad they had nowhere to go, no one to love them or take care of them. This man was also doing more than asking for a hand out, he also wanted to work for the money. I tried to offer him a smile, but since he looked down most of the time, I don't think he saw. My brother was a toddler in the car seat in the front, he wouldn't remember any of this. I am thankful that I had/ have parents that wanted to help those out in need. I feel that it has affected me in way that has shaped me greatly. I have no picture of this event, but a very vivid memory tucked away in my thoughts; the parking lot, the newspaper my dad was reading, the cup of coffee he was drinking, my brother kicking about in the seat, the purple 99 cents store sign, and the parking lot with cars stretched out and a man walking away with his head down.

I didn't take this picture, but I like it. And they are my feet. Shabby hotel, after wedding party, way back in May already. Nice job Lisa.

Informal

Informal memorable night:
sharing
strawberries
wine
painting
a movie on low
tears
being real
first impressions
calling each other out
giggling
uncomfortable bunkbeds
an angry roomate

and its just been too long

frustrated and restless

i love this

http://greylikesweddings.wordpress.com/2009/07/07/engagement-session-vw-love/

My 4rth of July was great - I headed up to Coeur D Alene, Idaho to work/visit our sister house of Maggie's Place there. It was gorgeous, we jumped into the lake a lot, hiked, walked, and enjoyed the summer. You can't do that in the desert they call phoenix. It was a nice break, even though I was still working. And I ate - ALOT. carrot cake, apple pie, chicken salad, chips and dill dip, cherries, kale soup, and pork steaks. Pretty much everything. Thank the Lord for happy holidays with fireworks and food.

I assisted some pictures last weekend, this was my fave shot, it was pretty experimental I just lowered the camera and stuck it out - lucky - slightly tightly cropped but oh well

Coming attraction: wedding in november

-i think i miss the "the look," the look that only two people in love can exchange-

In my spare time, and all my time for that matter, I try to help pregnant people feel loved and happy :)

Pretty awesome

reboot

I am so thankful - today was a nice reboot - I pray I only fill the God shaped hole, with just that.

We were as good as married in my mind, but married in my mind is no good

This emotional roller coaster of a week, was a lot of me, and a lot of circumstances.
It is so hard to describe this road that I have been on. I feel alone, but at the same time, I know that I am not at all. I keep reminding myself, God doesn't forget, nor will he, about me.
I hate when you are driving or sitting somewhere, and a blog or something you want to write forms into your head, and then when you finally get a moment to sit in front of the computer, it disappears from your mind.
So just know that I had way more to write, but its gone for the moment. I will tell you that it had something to do with looking for a man of dignity. Many of my friends have found stand up men, and I am so happy for them. It is so encouraging to find these men and to know they exsist. And so I wait.

sometimes pretty impatiently, but hey i am honest.

www.jjfphotography.com/jjfphotographysite/momevent09/

try out this link --- it leads to a slideshow of pictures I took for our main event of the year! I am sort of proud ! my criticism for myself, is next time, less pose, more impromotu!

So many things going through my head lately

Besides the obvious thing on my mind: Mother's Day -
I wish I could shut off the thinking sometimes, but its who I am.
Friday I got to go on an adventure finally (Sedona), I have been craving a road trip and somewhere else but here. The trees up north remind me of mammoth area and swimming and climbing rocks fills my outside quota nicely. I don't get to do much for me anymore. Which is what I signed up for, but sometimes it goes to long. I am not looking forward to the heat in the summer but looking forward to the festivities of summer. I miss friends and family. I have to keep waiting for God to continue to reveal things to me. I can't wait for my dose of home coming soon! Yesterday I went to a fun Mother's Day gathering, complete with water balloons and pizza.
What else... nothing right now, but Happy Mother's Day

May Day

yikes bikes

I haven't been on my lap top much, where all my pictures are... I did want to show you a picture of Jovanna and Gianni, the birth I recently attended and showed off my new learned doula skills at --
(sort of, it takes time to learn these things)

Life was really good and flowing, and right now its a little stressful, but I just have to trust in God and look for his promises and "just life shrug it"

Gianni reminds me of ducky from the Land Before Time... In a really cute way. She also has large hands and feet and her hands are always in the way. She is a cutie and now almost 3 weeks old!

Happy Easter... I found out today the name Easter may have derived from the ferility pagan Goddess, whose name was similar to that. But it is hard to not say Easter, because that isn't what it means to us..
I am really just rambling.

Well, Amanda got married, and it was lovely. I am so blessed to have gotten to come and spend time with her and everyone else this weekend. I am not ready to go back to Phoenix, but I am at the same time? Probably because I don't like having that much work to catch up on! I managed to grab amanda for this cupcake shot - -She looked beautiful, and I loved this cupcake tower!

well life here :

There is some more to do here than where I came from, I must admit. I have enjoyed getting to know people from my community. Its fun being instant (for the most part) friends with a large group of people. I have seen a great organ player come out of the ground, accompanied by bubbles, a disco ball, pizza and beer. I attended free movies in the Biltmore Center, a ritzy community with something free. I got to see the Rear Window at this event, I have always wanted to see this movie. I got to go to this huge 9 screen Drive in with my bunk mate hannah (I say bunk mate because I am the top bunk and shes got the bottom). I made 10 pairs of St. Patricks Day earrings for my household to get the festivities of Irish Soda Bread and Irish jokes and lots of green started with our community this week. I surfed a rummage sale because a man called us to say come get what you need for Maggie's Place, and in the midst of looking for things we need for our house, I saw a vintage camera bag with a vintage pentax and lenses that was included in our free dive. I also scored a neat bright blue vintage travel bag, but the pentax is far cooler. I am having fun, somethings are bitter sweet without family and friends I am used to, but God calls us out, and when we respond, there is more where that came from. I came here to live more simply and live for others, but God doesn't forget about me and hands it back, really and truly.

Sarah's Best of Wedding Photos

Over time I have had the opportunity to shoot some Wedding Photos, sorry if you have already seen them all you faithful myspace, facebookers, bloggers, and lj-ers, but here we go:

She drove up, with the other 3 people that took her to lunch. They actually were driving her, to be more specific. I am not sure what happened in the car, what was said, what happened at lunch, what has happened through out the whole thing. I haven't been here long enough, I am not sure the right way to cope/deal with this. I assume she was saying her goodbyes, that she was holding her baby. That she kissed him and loved him, the way a only mother knows how. This couple cares for her, I know. But its hard because I almost think of them as "the couple." Even though its best for everyone involved. Though the hardest thing that She will ever have to do. I watched her through the kitchen blinds, I had looked up while putting away dishes, curious to see who had parked out front. And saw this all unfold, not intentionally. She was bravely walking away from the car, after hugging the couple. There were tears in her eyes, and I can only imagine the torment of leaving her child in the car. But it wasn't hers anymore? I heard the door opening. I watched the couple standing in our front yard, the husband came and held the wife supportively. She looked at him, so sad, for the mom entering our house. She put her hand on her heart and sighed, and leaned on his shoulder. He drew her closer and they embraced sideways, then turned around to get back in the car, since she had already entered house and could turn around to see them like that. They probably don't know that I saw everything. It was a hard thing to observe on a weekday afternoon. She came into the kitchen area, put her leftovers in the fridge, half smiling at all of us, but clearly trying to just walk through without anyone saying anything. If she stopped to conversate, she might burst. She went to the bathroom fast. Came out later with more mascara streaks. Tear stained eyes. I can't imagine. What would it be like to carry for 9 months +, and then come home with nothing but a scar on your stomach. And fall asleep feeling relieved, lonely, and feeling like a mother, but not. I want to tell her she is the best mother in the world. She is brave, selfless, and still a mother. It is hard for her though to hear things like that right now...

I get to hang out with this cuteness a lot

in this particular picture Teagan (almost 5 months) and I were hanging out while her mom ran some errands and Teagan was super cranky and hot so we hung out with this fuzzy blanket and she calmed down when it rubbed against her skin and we played peeka boo - If you like puzzles you should be a infant care giver because making them happy sometimes is a puzzle :)

Here is a tour of my house - I will write an update soon (give me 4 days, tops)

This is the Michael House of Maggie's Place. We live in Glendale which is a suburb or Phoenix. About 15-20 minutes from downtown Phoenix - It doesn't look that big but it has 7 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, a shed, and other extremities.

Right now we house 6 moms, 4 babies, 4 staff members, and that is about what we have room for, besides more babies!

The girl holding the babies is Christina, one of my housemates. She is holding River (2 months) and Teagan (4 months).
That is our room, my bed is the top bunk, with all my pictures, we also have quite a lot of storage space.
Then we have our office, the counseling room, the chapel, the dining room, the living room, the backyard (a filled in pool :(
And my new vintage bike that was donated! I took a ride today, it was wonderful! It isn't officially mine, but no on e else is interested in riding it :)