Luckily God doesn't let me stay in that place too long.

Advent is for joy, not despair.

magenta sparkles
grey addiction
coconut breath
cabana futures
& the blues

oh just go google yourself

oh shoot!
I hate googling myself ! I always find too much info! and it is public -
lame

passion for the cause

The way that Fr. Greg interacts with the people he works with with is inspiring --
the book is a "need to read"

Tift Merrit rocks my socks

Every Lent I learn some hard lessons.
Every Lent I am in some of the same situations that I was the previous year.

I start out very willing to change and follow Jesus more closely.
I usally lose progress as the weeks go on.
Fear of change, because change from within, is the hardest and most heart moving.

I feel different about this year - no really.

It's weird because I missed an Ash Wednesday service...

but this Lent feels like the one - where I have a chance to learn and embrace.

That's the difference, I have always been learning during this season, but I am so open armed to embrace it.

Because it matters more than anything else in my life right now... Because I want it to.

Fasting can be joyful! Thank you Lord for changing my mind & heart on this one.

Week 1: I learned some hard doses of humbleness, I was majorly humbled.

On to Week 2!!

Heart Scars

I had a quiet moment recently. my legs were crossed. and my pants had pushed up slightly to reveal my left ankle. it isn't so pretty anymore because it has poison oak scars now. i traced my fingers in the non specific patterns of the scar. my fingers drifted up to my right arm that has two ugly spots where i spilled scalding hot water in an exciting hot chocolate thermos situation. my eyes moved up to the small spots on my right hand from a summer job fight with the pizza oven and a first job memory of the quesadilla machine. my bodily scars may or may not go away. my thoughts drifted to my heart. the literal heart ages and i am sure shows wear and tear. but my spiritual and emotional heart, i know, that has to look older than it is. i know that i have many chances to heal from experiences. but the scars that are on my heart... i know they are still there. no vitamin e can make those disappear. i think those are worse, because only i can see them. how can you solve a problem that involved others...alone? being handicapped in a very different way, its hard to express the healing that needs to take place. again i trudge back, feeling foolish, to the king of scars, my ultimate heart healer.