hello,
i am young girl. all i know is what my parents taught me. and didn't teach me. i know that selfishness invaded my life from a young age. i was the whore from an early age. a cousin taught me about sex when i was 10. i was judged, laughed at, and abused. at 18 i was pregnant. they all told me to get an abortion. I couldn't think for myself. they know best, right? my due date was last month. i think it would've been a girl. i am pregnant again, this time, they should mind their own business. i am not sure what love is. i never truly had it. my mom told me she regretted me. i told her i regretted her too. but it is not true. she does the best she can. she lives with a man she doesn't love. they don't talk much. i wonder if i will end up like that. i am always misunderstood. not many people take the time to talk to me. i am written off. i am scared me and this baby, I named him Christian, I am afraid we won't make it. i worry about a miscarriage. i have said i regret him, it is not true either. that is all i know, how to regret, but not really love.
i hope that i can find myself. and i can find a friend, or 2 to listen to me. i have the longest road ahead of me... good thing i have learned; one day at a time.
with sincerity, me

i so called it.